I thought it was a bit unusual how I felt about January 1st. I really loved it--I felt that January 1, 2020 was the last day we spent with my dad, so January 1, 2021 was a very special anniversary to me and it made me happy and I felt comforted. I'm SO glad that Glen and I traveled down to Vegas to be with my family there last New Year's. What if we hadn't gone? The sense of loss and regret then would have been so much greater.
I think that January 1st holds more weight and importance for me than the 2nd or the 9th--the 2nd being to me the day we really lost my dad since that's the day he went into the hospital and was put in a medically induced coma, and, of course, the 9th being the day he passed away. The 1st is the last day we spent together and I'm so grateful for that memory.
When he first passed away, I was sad, but I didn't really miss him as I wasn't used to seeing him often. As time has passed, I'm missing him more and more. He wasn't in Oregon the times I visited this past year. He didn't light his bayberry candle on Christmas Eve. Everytime we play 3 to 13 I think of him...any many other things remind me of him, too, of course.
 |
| Dad lighting the bayberry candle Christmas 2011 |
 |
| in the Jedediah Smith State Park July 2009 |
Why don't I have more photos of just me and my dad? That is one regret I have--that we didn't take more photos together.
Just as I ended my post last January, I want to say to my dad: You are loved. You are missed. You are awesome. Thanks for everything.
❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said, Beth. I miss him so deeply. I can’t fathom that it’s been a year. In so many ways, it seems to have gone by so quickly and at the same time, it has felt like an eternity. Love you forever. Dad
ReplyDelete