yo-yoing or how could I have let this happen again?

I have never been thin. There are only a few times I haven't been overweight. I never really tried diets, though, and my weight was usually constant...no yo-yoing, just slow trends.

When I was about 11 I was normal weight, after having been a bit chubby. Then, when I was 12, we moved from Massachusetts to Lousiana...where it was too hot and humid to play outside...where I didn't have friends that I played with after school...where I stayed in the house inactive and snacking for 5 years. By the time I started college I was about 162 and stayed at that weight my 4 years there. On my mission I went up to almost 200 pounds.

Then when I was first living on my own after graduating from college and serving my mission, I couldn't afford food (junk food, anyway). Plus I worked all day so I wasn't home to eat and I dropped down to 142 lbs...which is just 4 pounds off of being considered medically overweight for my height, but still, I was considered normal weight.

I met Glen, married, had Andrew. Then with the help of Weight Watchers, I was able to lose the pregnancy weight I had gained by the time he was one. I got back down to the low 140s...and then got pregnant with Eric and have been overweight and/or obese since then.

A little over 3 years ago I was up to 195. I finally buckled down, joined Curves, and watched what I ate (my cholesterol was too high and if I couldn't control it with diet and exercise the doctor was going to put me on medicine...that was a good motivator for me).

By the fall, I was down to 165 and feeling pretty good. But after being "good" all summer, I couldn't seem to hold it together any longer and started to eat too much again.

Here comes the yo-yo.

So, fall of 2006 I was 165 lbs.
By the end of winter 2007 I was 175 again.
By the end of summer I was 165 again.
By the end of winter 2008 I was 175 again.
By the end of summer I was 165 again.

I almost made it into the 150s in November. Almost. Oh, and after 2 1/2 years, I quit going to Curves because it was just so hard to get there, now that I'm subbing part time. But at first I couldn't seem to make myself exercise at home.

Here I am, almost the end of winter 2009 and I'm at 172. My cholesterol is too high. I was feeling out-of-control with my eating habits.

But now that spring is coming, I'm hopeful once again. I actually started exercising at home again. I'm eating marginally better.

If I could just get down to 145...and stay there...it would be so wonderful. Why can't I seem to do it? I lost 30 pounds before, so I know how. Maybe I should post my cholesterol number on the fridge...that might be a good motivator.

I just need to snack healthier. And keep exercising. So easy to say, so hard to do.

to Utah and back

I loved the contrast between the brown mountains, the white snow and the dark shadows...it looked better in real life.

I had my first visit to the Ogden Temple. My sister-in-law came from Farmington to attend a session with me. Very neat.

Glen and I took his drama students (well, 10 of them anyway...including one of our sons and a niece...and a nephew as another chaperone) to Utah for the annual theatre conference put on by the UTA (Utah Theatre Association). This year Weber State hosted and it was in Ogden. The weather was gorgeous and the kids were great. I didn't attend the workshops, but went to see the productions.

We saw the musical "Into the Woods" put on at Weber High School. It combines a few fairy tales...Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Rapunzel, and Jack and the Bean Stalk. They did a *fantastic* job...I just didn't like the play. Why not? you may ask. Well, the story line wasn't to my liking. For example, after Prince Charming and Cinderella marry he's off in the woods kissing a married woman. Then the woman gets kills by the dead Giant's wife (from Jack and the Beanstalk). And Prince Charming winds up with Sleeping Beauty. Cinderella stays in the forest with her new friends [Little Red, Jack-who's mother has been killed by the Prince's steward-and the Baker (whose wife was the married woman kissing Prince Charming who has since been killed)]. Confused? Sorry, I'm not good at explanations.

We also saw "Camelot" which I really enjoyed...you might say there was a similar theme so why did I like one but not the other, but in Camelot there is a "real" price to be paid for the infidelity. It was put on by Bonneville High School. Great job.

Saturday night was the Aerial Angels show. It involved aerial stunts as well as a bullwhip segment and a fire-eating segment. Amazing.

Besides the temple and carting my van load of kids around (Glen had a van load, too), I relaxed by reading in my room. It was wonderful.

One sad note to the trip, while there we learned of the death of a wonderful lady back home. She'd been battling cancer and we knew the end was near, but it's still a bit of a blow. My heart goes out to her family. We'll all miss Rita. She was a great woman and will be sorely missed by all. I'll have to bring a ton of kleenex to her funeral. I'm sure it will be very touching and emotional. She was a great example. I'm so glad that I had the chance to know her.